


everything stays (right where you left it)

by kusuos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Coffee Shops, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Drunk Dialing, First Dates, Firsts, M/M, Moving On, Post-Canon, Pretty Setter Squad, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Sad Oikawa Tooru, after high school, learning to love again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29616633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuos/pseuds/kusuos
Summary: "Oikawa flirts because it’s what he does, he falls into the old routine like it’s nothing, and it’s comforting. He finds solace in the fact that maybe just for a few moments, he can make someone fall a little bit in love with him, that he can charm someone and maybe, just maybe he can feel like someone wants him here. "or - oikawa tooru and learning to love again
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, past Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	everything stays (right where you left it)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tobiology](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiology/gifts).



_"I never was very good_   
_I haven't been so good_   
_But right outside the door nobody knows_   
_They're right outside the door and they don't know how it"_

**_\- Shame by Mitski_ **

* * *

He’s just finished crying when he sees the silver haired boy again for the first time. He recognizes him, the pretty setter from Karasuno. Oikawa’s nestled into the corner of Fourteen-Eighteen Coffee, the only coffee shop in Miyagi he could think of that he didn’t have memories of Iwaizumi tied to. The brick walls and string lights are comforting and familiar, and it’s one of the only places he feels like he can be himself in. At his usual table in the back, he doesn’t have to put his persona back up, he can just sit there, and wallow in his own misery. 

He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his oversized Seijoh hoodie and pushes his glasses up his nose, trying to put his game face back on. He’d flirted with the barista and the cashier who took his order, winking and tucking his hair behind his ear. 

Oikawa flirts because it’s what he does, he falls into the old routine like it’s nothing, and it’s comforting. He finds solace in the fact that maybe just for a few moments, he can make someone fall a little bit in love with him, that he can charm someone and maybe, just maybe he can feel like someone wants him here. 

Sugawara, yes, that’s his name, walks over to where he’s sitting. “Can I join you?” he asks, ever so polite. Oikawa wonders what it would be like if he just snapped, one day, went totally apeshit and went on a killing spree. Then he thinks that there’s something wrong with his brain because it definitely should not be telling him these things. Sugawara stares at him and he realizes he never even responded. 

“Yeah, you can,” Oikawa responds, pulling the sleeves of his hoodie over his fingertips. His nails are chewed up and raw, ever so different from the pristine way he used to keep them, ready to nail a perfect set. Iwaizumi used to love his hands.

They used to go for long drives together, Oikawa watching the way the city lights graced the interstates while he drove, slender fingers draped over the steering wheel as Iwaizumi hummed softly along to whatever song was playing on the radio. Oikawa avoids their usual route now, the same way he avoids everything he still relates to Iwaizumi. 

He feels tied to him, like he never really was a different person, like he doesn’t really know who he is without Iwaizumi by his side. Oikawa’s tried to start something new, something that’s just his own, but he can’t make anything stick. He feels tired all the time, like he’s physically done with living. It used to get like that back in middle school, and again at the beginning of high school, when Tobio started to replace him, when he felt like he was never good enough. 

_Fuck._

He needs to stop thinking about him. He needs to leave his thing with Tobio behind, he needs to fucking _let go._

“What are you thinking about?” 

Oikawa looks up from his iced coffee that’s starting to melt and looks at him. He’d almost forgotten the other boy was there. He laughs a little, out loud, because _god,_ if only he knew. 

Sugawara smiles at him. “So it’s _that_ kind of thinking, huh?” 

The milk chocolate haired boy nods. He feels a little less empty. He hasn’t talked to anyone who wasn’t Makki in weeks, hasn’t said more than ‘thanks’ in a really long time. 

“My boyfriend dumped me last week, actually,” Sugawara says nonchalantly. “I guess I’m over it, it’s not like we were meant to last.” His tone turns dry and bitter, but then turns back into his usual sweet one. “You wanna talk about it?” 

Oikawa finds himself saying yes. He starts talking, rambling really, about how they met and how he could always count on him, how Iwaizumi had seen him through his worst. He’s afraid he might cry again, but he doesn’t. He goes on and on, talks about how he’s leaving for Argentina in three months, about how Iwaizumi had said it was for the best really, that they were too used to being in each other’s company that they could never work a long distance relationship. 

Sugawara nods through it all, and Oikawa can tell he’s actually paying attention. When he finishes, Sugawara extends a hand and places it on top of where Oikawa’s hoodie covered one is laying on the table. His sleeve is disgusting and damp from the tears, but Sugawara doesn’t seem to care. It’s the first time that someone’s held Oikawa’s hand since Iwaizumi. It feels good. 

“I was dating Daichi, you know, the Karasuno captain?” Oikawa nods, surprised but also feeling like he knew there was something between the two of them all along. He remembers him from Seijoh’s matches against Karasuno, remembers a commanding voice and almost impossible receives. “We’re going to different colleges, so he decided to end it. He said that it was only a temporary thing anyways” Sugawara laughs. “It’s not as if we’d played volleyball together our whole lives,” he says sarcastically. “It’s not like I was just expecting him to throw it all away because of an hour’s difference.” 

Oikawa gets it. Their situations are more similar than he thought. A childhood friend, leaving the one who always counted on him behind. He’s surprised that Sugawara is being this open with him when they’ve only known each other for a short amount of time, but he’s probably just returning the favor. 

Soon enough, it’s late, and the sky is starting to turn dark, and the one remaining barista signals to them that they’re about to close. Oikawa walks Sugawara out the door. 

“This was nice,” Oikawa says. He doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to let go of one of the most cathartic experiences he’s had in a long time. 

“It was,” Sugawara replies with a smile, but keeps walking, heading in the opposite direction of where Oikawa’s route home starts. 

“Can I see you again?” Oikawa asks, just before the silver haired boy can make it out of his sight. 

Sugawara laughs, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear as he does so, and Oikawa walks closer to him, closing the space between them. His hair is longer than the last time Oikawa had seen him; it looks good. “I was scared that you weren’t going to ask me, but I hate to make the first move.” 

Oikawa can relate, but being forward is part of his invented personality, part of the Oikawa everyone knows and loves, so he makes himself get over his fears and does it anyways. 

He can’t tell Sugawara that though, they’ve only just started to open up to each other, and Oikawa doesn’t want to scare him away. 

“Good thing I’m the forward one,” he says instead of what he’s thinking, and Sugawara’s grin widens.

“Good thing indeed. Can I get your number, then?” 

Oikawa nods, and motions for Sugawara to hand him his phone. He does, and Oikawa saves his number under ‘oikawa <3’, then texts himself, and when he’s done, he hands the phone back to Sugawara, blushing when their fingers brush.

Sugawara doesn’t let go of his hand, and Oikawa hesitates, before using their clasped hands to pull him into a tight hug. The silver haired boy stiffens, and then melts into the embrace. 

“Thank you,” says Oikawa quietly, the words muffled from where his face is tucked into Sugawara’s shoulder. 

He feels Sugawara smile against his neck. “Thank you too.” 

After a beat, they let go of each other, both wearing wide grins. “I’ll see you soon,” says Sugawara, and then he’s leaving, his figure getting smaller as he walks over to where his car is parked on the other side of the parking lot. 

* * *

**_Sugawara  
_ ** _when can i see u again?_

 **_Oikawa  
_ ** _does friday work for u?  
_ _and where do u wanna meet_

 **_Sugawara  
_ ** _friday works  
_ _and u can pick the place i dont mind_

 **_Oikawa  
_ ** _ok!  
_ _it’s a date, then <3 _

**_Sugawara  
_ ** _:D_

* * *

Oikawa ends up choosing a mini golf place for their date. He’s never been there before, hell, he’s never even played mini golf, but how hard can it be? He’s a setter, he has amazing hand eye coordination. 

It turns out it’s nearly impossible to hit the golf balls into the holes, and somehow, Sugawara is great at it. 

“How the hell do you do that?” Oikawa asks, exasperated. He hates how good the shorter boy is at it, and he hates that he thinks it’s kind of hot. 

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Sugawara replies, and Oikawa glares at him. 

“Tell me,” he says, whining. 

Sugawara laughs. “My older sister used to work at a place like this, and when I was younger she took me there a lot, so I got in a lot of practice.” 

Oikawa pouts and attempts to hit the golf ball again, but misses the ball by almost a foot. “Fuck,” he curses. “Why is this so hard?” 

Sugawara smiles at him. “Fine, I’ll help you. The trick is to watch the other person and not make their mistakes. See, you keep hitting too hard, so your ball bounces off of the edges. And you should be looking where you want the ball to go, not at the ball.” 

“Oh,” Oikawa says, dragging the word out. He swings again, a little better this time. 

“Your stance is wrong,” Sugawara says. He steps behind Oikawa, their bodies flush against each other. Oikawa’s face goes red. The silver haired setter puts his hands over Oikawa’s where they’re resting on the putter, and adjusts the way he’s holding it. He guides Oikawa’s hands into the right position to swing, and then lets go.

Oikawa mourns the loss of the contact. 

“Now swing,” Sugawara says. “Not too hard, just tap the ball, that way it won’t go flying.” 

Oikawa follows his directions, and this time, the ball goes rolling smoothly halfway across the distance to the next hole. Oikawa cheers. 

“There’s no way that it’s that easy,” he says. “You just have magic hands or something.” 

“Oh my god,” Sugawara replies. “That must be the cheesiest thing someone’s ever said to me.” 

Oikawa smiles. “It’s true. It’s a setter thing. We all have magic hands.” 

“If you told that to Kenma or Tobio they’d laugh at you,” he replies. 

Oikawa scoffs. “Tobio would _never._ ” 

Sugawara snorts. “Yes he would.” 

“True.” 

The silver haired boy takes his turn and makes it into the hole in two shots. “Come on mister magic hands,” he says. “It’s your turn.” 

Oikawa laughs, and takes his turn, and they continue playing and laughing at each other until they complete the entire course. 

Afterwards, they go out for dinner, at a small hole in the wall ramen place. Oikawa knows the owner, she’s a long time friend of his mother’s, and she grins when she sees who he’s with. 

“New friend?” she asks, thankfully not bringing up Iwaizumi. 

“Something like that,” he says. 

Sugawara grins a knowing grin. “Something like that,” he repeats.

* * *

Oikawa runs into Makki and Mattsun for the first time since the breakup at the grocery store. He’s in the frozen foods aisle, looking for ice cream, when he recognizes Mattsun’s familiar voice and Makki’s pink hair. 

Sure, they’ve texted each other, but their conversations were always dry, and Oikawa could tell they were just checking in on him; either because Iwaizumi told them too, or because they wanted to make sure that he wasn’t dead. 

“Oikawa?” Makki says, shocked to see him there. 

“Hey,” he replies, not knowing what else to say. 

“You been okay, bro?” Mattsun asks. He seems genuinely concerned, and Oikawa’s eyes soften a bit at the words. 

He nods. “I’m fine.” He hesitates, but then decides to tell him. They are some of his oldest friends after all. “I’ve actually started seeing someone else.” 

Makki raises his eyebrows. “That’s great! Who’s the unlucky person?” 

Oikawa glares at him. “Sugawara Koushi, you know, the Karasuno third year setter?” 

Makki gasps. “You _traitor,_ ” he says lightheartedly. “You’re dating the enemy.” 

“I don’t blame him,” Mattsun says. “He’s really pretty.” 

“He is,” Oikawa says with a laugh. It’s nice to see that the two of them haven’t changed, and that they’re still friends. They don’t bring up the fact that he still hasn’t talked to Iwaizumi since the breakup either.

They talk for a little longer, and make a promise to see each other again later, to go out for dinner or something. It’s nice to know that Oikawa still has his friends, that they’re not going to leave him just because he isn’t with Iwaizumi anymore. 

* * *

_“Oikawa.”_

_He braces himself for Iwaizumi’s question. They’ve been dancing around this for too long, but he can’t bring himself to ask first. He’s always been the one to make the first move, but things have always been different with Iwaizumi. He turns him inside out, makes him a completely different person. Oikawa can’t tell if it’s for better or for worse._

_“What are we going to do when you leave?”_

_Oikawa exhales, trying to compose himself. He’s not going to cry, he’s not. They’re going to have a good healthy conversation and he’s not going to ruin it. “I don’t know, Iwa-chan. I really don’t know.”_

_He expects Iwaizumi to try and come up with a plan, or suggest that Oikawa stay in Japan, but he’s not prepared at all for what comes out of Iwaizumi’s mouth._

_“I think that we should break up, Tooru.”_

_The words don’t register at first; all that seems to stick in Oikawa’s brain is the use of his given name, which Iwaizumi hasn’t used since they were children. When he finally processes what his boyfriend’s just said, his skin goes cold. “What?”_

_“We can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep clinging to me, it’s not healthy, and it’s not going to work if we do long distance,” Iwaizumi continues. “You need to move on. We’re not good for each other anymore. It’s gotten to the point that you don’t know who you are without me anymore, and it hurts to watch you like that.”_

_“That’s not true,” Oikawa replies. He knows it’s a lie._

_“When’s the last time that you did something for yourself? When’s the last time you did something that had nothing to do with me?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa can’t seem to find an answer._

_“I went out with Makki and Mattsun the other day,” he says, voice strained._

_“That doesn’t count. They’re my friends too, and you did it because I suggested it to you.”_

_Oikawa digs his perfectly trimmed nails into the palms of his hands. “That doesn’t mean we’re unhealthy. It just means I love you. You’re the most important person in my life, Iwa-chan, of course I don’t know who I am without you.”_

_“Tooru,” he says again. “You can’t just cling to me. What are you going to do when I’m not there? What are you going to do when you’re all alone in Argentina and I’m thousands of kilometers away?” Iwaizumi takes a deep breath. “It’s for the best, I promise you.”_

_Oikawa can feel tears prickling at the edge of his eyes, they’re starting to blur his vision. “You’d really throw it away just like that? We’ve been together for two whole years, and I’ve known you for my entire life.”_

_“I’m not throwing anything away,” Iwaizumi retorts. They’re both starting to raise their voices. Oikawa feels like he’s losing it, and everything’s starting to blur at the edges, like he’s in some twisted dream. He feels like he’s on fire and he’s completely numb at the same time. “I’m tying to do what’s best for you, which I’ve always done.”_

_The tears finally start falling, warm against Oikawa’s face._

_“It’s not that I don’t love you,” Iwaizumi continues. “I love you so much. I just hate this part. That the lines between us are starting to blur. I hate that we don’t know who we are without each other, and I hate that it’s hurting you. I hate watching you lose yourself for me.”_

_“It's not hurting me,” Oikawa says sharply. “Being with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”_

_Iwaizumi winces. “That’s not how it’s supposed to work. I’m sorry, Tooru, but I can’t keep doing this.”_

_Oikawa keeps crying, harder now. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you. You can’t just-”_

_The spiky haired shorter boy cuts him off. “See, that’s exactly my point. And this doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. I don’t plan on losing you.”_

_Oikawa nods shakily and stands up. “I’m going to leave,” he says, walking towards the door._

_“I’m sorry,” Iwaizumi says, stopping him in his tracks._

_Oikawa turns to face him. “Don’t be, it’s my fault anyway.”_

_Iwaizumi starts to say something, but Oikawa is gone and out the door before he can hear him._

He wakes up drowning in the memory of their breakup. It’s not the first time that it’s happened, and it definitely won’t be the last, but it hurts just the same. 

Things had been going so well with Sugawara, why did he have to get stuck thinking about this again? It’s not like he’s been talking to Iwaizumi, so much for ‘I don’t plan on losing you’.

Oikawa sighs and rolls out of bed, looking for his glasses and his phone. He’s supposed to meet Sugawara later today. 

By the time they see each other, something still feels out of place. Oikawa puts his persona back on, forces his smiles and his laughs, and makes himself try to enjoy their date.

Thankfully, Sugawara can’t seem to tell that he’s faking it, or if he can, he doesn’t let Oikawa know that he knows. It's a small mercy, but Oikawa is thankful for it all the same. Sometimes, Sugawara gets quiet, and Oikawa knows that he's probably doing the thing that he does too, where he compares the person he's with in the moment to the person that he ~~loves~~ used to love. 

* * *

Sugawara and Oikawa kiss for the first time on their third date. It’s out of nowhere, they’re walking home from the horror movie they’d gone to see (Sugawara’s pick), hand in hand, and suddenly Oikawa had stopped walking, turned to face the other boy, and leaned in to press their lips together. 

“Sorry,” Oikawa says. “I just really wanted to do that.” 

Sugawara smiles at him. Oikawa notices that he smiles a lot when they’re together. “I’m glad you did.” 

They stand there and smile at each other for almost a whole two minutes until they realize that they’re in the middle of the sidewalk and people are probably staring at them. 

“So what even are we?” he asks as they continue walking. Oikawa has one arm wrapped around Sugawara’s waist, and Sugawara is leaning against his shoulder. 

“Well, we’ve been going on dates for like two weeks now,” Sugawara replies. “I think the usual label would be boyfriends, but whatever you want to call us is what I’m okay with.” 

“Boyfriends,” Oikawa repeats. It’s weird hearing the label when it’s not in relation to Iwaizumi, but it also feels new, like something he wants, like something good. “I’d like that.” 

Sugawara smiles. “Me too.” 

Oikawa drives him home and drops him off, kissing him one last time before he leaves. "Text me when you get home?" Sugawara asks.

He nods back.

As he drives home to his own house, there’s a genuine smile still on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its going to get even angstier next chapter hehe ! pls leave kudos or a comment if u enjoyed!


End file.
